Flying Grandmas Bomb Canada With Socks!

Everybody hates cold weather, don't we. And there is no mystery why. When its cold we are all crouched over blowing our hands, we are as pale as a corpse and end up all becoming a city of hunchbacks of NotreDame, never leaving our homes, afraid of the cold and keeping hidden in hopes that no one will see you. In the same token it is no mystery why people get "spring fever". People come out more, their posture is corrected, they are not wearing 50 pounds of clothes and look generally a lot better. Its not that there is some magic dust floating around in the air its just the fact that we all don't look like a member of the Addams family. Have you ever wondered why all these people in LA and the tropics look so good, it is because they never have to deal with winter and the physical percussion's that come with it. I’d like to see a Baywatch episode take place in Alaska, I bet they are not so eager to rescue a drowning kid in the glacier water and if you think that David Hastlehoff is something special now, imagine him in a Speedo, skating across the ice to rescue a drowning polar bear. Why he is rescuing a polar bear in the first place? I’d tell you but that would ruin the episode. Side note the hormones are in full gear and ready for a healthy spring session. It is fox hunting sesson, not sea donkey or tire bitter hunter time. Those permits are easier to get but the game is undisirable to the taste or touch.


Clothes seem to always go missing somehow don't they. No matter what you do to keep them in order and in place some clothes are going to slip through the cracks. Especially socks, they always vanish. And its not a pair that goes missing its just one from the pair. I have like 500 single socks looking for some one they can cling(static cling get it) to if you know of any available socks that you think would be a good match with my socks I'm interested. Is there someone out there who steals one sock from a pair and if so why? Is there really a hot black market for these things. "Hey, psst, you there with the lack of socks, I got one with blue strips here, I'll be willing to part with it for about two fabric softeners. Do we have a deal?" I've actually tried to get my missing socks on milk cartoons but they've refused saying something about stinky socks being a turnoff to the average milk buyer.


Department stores always get people that fit there stores image don't they? Go into a crafts and quilts shop guaranteed there will be about a hundred old grandmas working there, go to a Hemp shop and guaranteed the person who is selling you clothes is nicely baked. The stores that really get me though are the sports department stores. They have the biggest most intimidating guys in there selling you shoes. To top it of they wear these headphones with mikes attached to them so if you don't get the tennis racket you were looking at you're pretty sure they are going to report you into the workers who are off duty and beat you to a pulp. I think there should be a week in every year all department stores switch their employees with an others. Personally I think Id rather buy a pair of shoes from an old lady than some retired high school football player and besides it makes more sense for old people to be wearing headphones with mikes attached, so we can talk to them and they can actually hear us.